A real low point...

  Another long coach journey, traveling from Mackay to Townsville, further north. I was feeling a bit deflated,  I got so caught up being positive and maybe I was just being naive this whole time thinking I would get a job. I started to worry about debts, money and what I would do when I finished nannying since finding work was apparently impossible. I started to worry about a lot of things. I was being negative. I was on my own again, with no real security yet.  I needed a hug from Craig or my mum or just a friend to be struggling with me. I started to miss home and everyone I'd left behind and had a bit of a sob... 

Eventually I put things into perspective, realised that I was actually incredibly lucky, I got to visit parts of Australia and I've met some amazing people who have been my security just knowing they are in the same country and are there if/when I need them, I started to think about all the things that I appreciated at this moment such as the small fact that id made it this far. being negative didn't alter anything, it didn't change my situation it just made me sad and made me feel like nothing was possible. I needed motivation, I needed something that was going to inspire me, and I remembered "the alchemist" an iBook I'd read already once before I came to Australia. The book is about a shepherd in Spain who sold his flock of sheep to go on a journey to see the pyramids of Egypt. My description does this book no justice at all but the motivational and inspirational paragraphs in the book are amazing. There was one bit in it that stood out to me more than anything at that time  

“What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon.’
“Every search begins with beginner’s luck. And every search ends with the victor’s being severely tested.”

 I mean i appreciate how poetic "soul of the world" sounds but just to clarify, the book is one big philosophical metaphor that will motivate you, whatever your dream or ambition is, not just for traveler folk. I have to admit (and i feel highly uneducated saying this) But even that paragraph confuses me but i just about get it

basically when you really want something, when your going after your dream 'beginners luck' is that initial easy period when you've just bagged that job or been accepted on that course etc (in my case i got the job as an au pair or i probably would never have come to Australia) but then, your tested, you struggle, not because some higher power (wether that's god, the universe or whatever it is you believe)  wants you to struggle but by struggling, by jumping through those hoops you are facing new experiences and you are learning and growing as a person, so it's not just about reaching the goal of your dream, the most important part is the journey.

After spending a night in a hostel in Townsville, I took a coach an hour and a half inland to charters towers. Mel told me to meet her at Woolworth's (supermarket here in Aus'). Of course there were 2 Woolworth's (why do people do this to me!!?!)  so I call The pub Mel works in as she has no home phone and no Mobile, they tell me she's left and she should be there any minute but to go to the bigger Woolworth's. 

Confusion out the way I finally met Mel. Mel seemed very young in both her appearance and the way she was, very happy too and very easy going. I Helped her with the Shopping, during which, I highlighted what a huge appetite I had and I think we got about 10 days (30 days for the average person) worth of breakfast, little did I know I wouldn't be seeing a Woolworth's again till I got back to Townsville (devastated - not kidding #ilovefoodtoomuch)

     

Mackay

August 2014

Another long and sleepless journey. I had no idea where to go when I got off the coach. I googled a hostel and only one showed up. One hostel in the whole of Mackay, given I basically picked a random city to stop over in which was definately no tourist destination but one hostel costing twice as much as a normal hostel a night was crazy! I used my maps on my phone to find my way. 

It was 6am and the doors didn't open till 7:30. Exhausted, I put my rucksacks down which id walked for around 20 mins with and sat on them, waiting. 

When I got to my room it stank to the high heavens of sweat. I mean it looked immaculately clean, not a speck of dust even but damn they could have used  some room spray. It was unfortunate there were no windows in my dorm. I slept anyway not really caring at that moment. 

When I woke up the smell wasn't as strong; that or I'd just got used to it and a Taiwanese girl arrived, apple (her real name was something else but quite often People from Asia take on English names, hers, funnily enough was not copying the beckams kid it was for the shape of her head) Apple was so so nice. one of the nicest, warmest person I've met. She also had a boyfriend and we were talking about our experiences with dealing with the separation and it was good to have a conversation with someone who was sticking it out like i was. 

Apple had met a guy in the hostel who was working as a chef in the area and had arranged to meet him Later and invited me to come.

We took a walk on the beach, it was windy and not very hot at this point as it was still winter. So around 20'c. It was perfect. It was nice to talk about work and our experiences traveling so far and I listed more places that I needed to visit along the east coast.

the following morning I had to Catch a 6am bus so I was unable to collect my $20 Deposit from the desk. I Facebook mailed apple and told her to take it. I fell asleep on the coach and woke up to numerous messages like, "hey they want proof that your ok with me taking the deposit" then "hey it's ok they trust me thank you so so much" she deserved it. Good people deserve nice things. Hostels who have smelly dorms do not. 

Matts birthday and leaving Bunderberg

August 2014

Sam and Gemma arranged to get cake, decorations and booze and we all chipped in. The hostel didn't allow drinking on the premises but we sneakily had some drinks anyway. 

Sarah gave me a bit of money for matt for his birthday and matt and i went to the shops while Sam and Gemma were setting everything up.

Bunderberg is actually really pretty, a large river runs through the small city and the buildings are a mix of styles between European and western. The people there are all so nice and I felt like it was an Australian version of my home town as we passed the bowling green, which most people my age in my town will only remember as the place where we would all be under age drinking back in the days. Every town or suburb has that one place eh. For the people of our hostel however our drinking place was the park by the river, since drinking in the hostel wasn't allowed. The police would regularly drive around checking on us which seemed crazy that they didn't have anything better to do. I guess crime rate must have been pretty low there.

Matt and I went to a sushi bar and I tried sushi for the first time. It wasn't too bad. In the centre of the roundabout outside was a water fountain and rather than water, had soapy foam. Obvious play time for me and matt and we both clearly had the exact same idea: FOAM FIGHT!!! Once the fun and giggles of that was over we stopped being children for a second and made our way back where matt was surprised with balloons and cake by the majority of the people in the hostel.

It was a good night spent drinking with friends and other backpackers, I actually made an effort and wore makeup for the first time since My nights out in cairns. Most girls in the hostel were wearing mascara and foundation to pick which made absolutely no sense to me at all. Mud over foundation. Nice. Wiping sweat from your brow which is making its way to your eyes whilst wearing mascara. Panda eyes. why make an effort to pick? Well each to there own... So it felt good to have an excuse to actually not look like sweaty muddy shit.

We were all making our way out of the first bar at around 12am and matt had work the following morning so was happy to head back but didn't really mind what we did. Yvonne (a girl who joined us to seek work on hamilton and joined us in Bunderberg ) kicked up a fuss that she wanted a night out and seemed a bit annoyed everyone was heading in so early. A couple of people from the hostel had headed off to the club but our group were heading in and she wasn't impressed. I asked her what was up and when she explained I simply said well its matts birthday, lets just do what he wants eh. And when she still seemed annoyed I said "hey Yvonne do you happen to be an only child..." (I blame the alcohol) she knew exactly what I was implying and responded "fuck you Beth fuck you..."  Well I guess I brought that one on myself. My usual diplomatic self shining through once again! Face palm moment for any readers who know me, I know, I know, I should know when to just not say a word right? Just shut up? 

When we got back to the hostel A couple of our group got caught for drinking and was made to leave the following morning. I wasn't drinking but decided to leave anyway. I'd pulled a sicky for the last remaining 3 days of my week there as I found the picking unbearable and I wasn't tolerating any of the slave labour any longer.  I didn't get paid for any of my work and I still haven't 3/4 months later. I tried chasing it up with no luck, half of the stuff I picked wasn't even documented so they have no record of me. I'm pissed off but at the end of the day I had a good time outside of the farm work so it was an experience ill remember for the good times.

I decided to go for the only thing that offered security and pay that I knew how to do well. I decided to go back to working as an au pair at least till id re cooperated the money I'd lost from finding work. The au pair position advertised on gumtree was said to be in charters towers, inland from Townsville (16 hours north) and Mel, the host was offering $150 a week which was less than what I was used to but an average amount for au pairing. Scott the child I would be looking after seemed pretty easy going and Mel explained where she lived was pretty out the way from everything but the place itself was really nice. She asked a bit about myself and offered me the position. 

Half of my group who were kicked out went to work in another farming hostel in Bunderberg and Sam stayed packing. Yvonne left to go back to Byron bay I think, she missed it there. Matt went to Brisbane (closest city, south) and went on to do a pedicabs job, taxiing people around with a bike in the Gold Coast.

On my way to meet matt to say bye in town, I met two guys who asked me for directions. These 2 guys were from Vanuatu, an island by Fiji. I explained how my boyfriend had always wanted to go to fiji and we were planning on going for my birthday, they said absolutely not and Vanuatu was much more beautiful than Fiji. They gave me their number and offered there place to us, they had a friend who would accommodate us also and the people of Vanuatu are very very nice like that. They were lovely people, I wish I had the money to get to Vanuatu. 

I met up with matt and we walked to a main road where he could hitch hike from. He found a piece of cardboard in a dumpster at the back of a shop but needed a pen, instead he burnt something and used that to write with. When matt left I really missed him. I was alone to be clumsy again and alone to make food.

The following day I said goodbye to everyone else. I was really going to miss Sam, Gemma and Adam also and we expected to only see each other again on New Year's Eve which we all planned to spend in Sydney together. 

My coach was booked to Mackey (half way point between bundy and Townsville) and a seperate one booked to Townsville from Mackey to break up the 16 hour coach journey. Ughhh!!

Bunderberg - Farming

Credit card: - £500

Au bank account: $400 (thanks to my mum sending me some muchly needed cash)

So bundaburg was the place I would be doing my farm work and hoping to get a bit of money.

The hostel was filthy, which I guess couldn't be helped. Even if you cleaned a house every day, if dozens of people, head to toe muddy and dirty passed through, it would be gross. The rooms weren't terrible, just standard. There were 2 kitchens, one outside and 1 inside. They had an empty outside pool and an entertainment room which had an Xbox and DVDs. The owner of the hostel had arranged 1 of the couches to be stilted higher than the other in front which made it really nice and homely when everyone decided to have a movie night. Everyone in this hostel was a lot more like a big family. They were all going through this shit awful work together and the laughs and drinks and the times in the park got them through the 3 months of slave labour, which is what it was. I'll explain:

Hostel cost a month $150

Average pay $150-$200 (anything after paying for accommodation would go towards food)

The work itself: ok so the deal was that you start off Picking either strawberries, tomatoes or cherry tomatoes for the first 2-4 weeks. The pay for this was absolutely terrible. On average it would take about 10-15 mins to fill a bucket of cherry tomatoes and each bucket was worth 50 cents. Hence, slave labour and its legal too. I called up a government helpline just to see if it was and some snotty woman on the phone un-impressed that i was even checking this over said yes but you have the opportunity to earn more than the farming hourly rate... HAR HAR FUCKING HAR, yes if im asian and robotic  (no racism intended but damn it killed me to see every Asian picking at lightening speed 5 buckets by the time id finished one) 

I would have loved to have seen that woman wake up at 4:30am for an hour and a half journey to be on a low seated, trike-like contraption with no pedals attached to a big tray and spending the entire day hunched over picking strawberries whilst using her feet to pivvot up the hill in scorching heat and having nothing to eat BUT strawberrys and getting just 25 cents a tray for them. Ok i know she was just the bearer of bad news but her impatient attitude sucked. Apparently you get faster at picking with practice and a lot of the asian supervisors were very nice in showing me how to pick faster and even helping me fill my cherry tomatoe bucket sometimes. I was just such a small and helpless girl who was struggling just so very much.... 😏This never happened however when I was picking strawberries. One of the supervisors had a go at me for taking a break to eat a banana and NOBODY tells me to stop eating (low blood sugar = angry angry angry disfunctional and very slow Beth. Plus I have a very large appetite, fast metabolism and I LOVE my food)

Regular tomatoe picking on the machines was the best because half the time you are seated on a vehicle that takes you forward and your grabbing tomatoes from the vines as it goes by and putting it on a machine in front of you that takes it up to the sorters above you. It's difficult to explain what this looked like (ill post a picture)

If you were picking larger things like pumpkins or something you would get paid hourly but guys were usually only picked to do that. 

Once the weeks of picking were up and depending on availability and who the managers like the sound of, they will then hire someone in the hostel to pack which is hourly paid work. Sam, lucky bugger, got this job on arrival so the rest of us were put to slavery. 

By the end of picking everybody's hands were black with dirt. It is the hardest thing to get out of your nails ever. One day I was told to use the green tomatoe juice to clean my hands which seemed bizarre but it really worked. Natures way of saying thanks I guess. well that cheered me up, I'm always really impressed by little things like that. Sarah, a girl in the hostel brought out some dark nail polish so we could hide the build up of muck in our nails that we couldn't remove. I was so greatful for this but she had to paint my nails, I felt like I was 7 years old again using my mums nail polish for the first time because I hadn't actually used nail polish since I was a child and the whole thing felt totally alien to me (such a tomboy)

It was lovely to meet Rannon who had nothing but good things to say about the hostel and her experience, the place had been her home for a few months and the people in it had been her family. I spoke to her about this crazy thing people talk about when they "change" when they travel and all this "finding yourself" bullshit . She told me that she had deffinately changed and had grown so much more confident socially, which I understood and that made sense to me. I still needed to meet someone that could explaining "finding oneself" to me though. The whole thing just sounds funny to me - oh yes! I remember the moment exactly, there I was this entire time, hiding under the duvet in a hostel in Myanmar! So glad I found myself!

When matt arrived I felt awful that I just deserted him. The others had joked before that he was really really pissed off with me, he was a bit mad but he's so easy going he was over it and it was nice to have him with me again so we could be shopping and cooking buddy's. me and matt got along really well and for our whole time in bunderberg we cooked and shopped together just like we did in hamilton. he was just as dippy as I was if not more dippy which was just crazy that that was even possible. He did things that made no logical sense and took the long way round when going about doing things. It made me smile because it made me feel normal. When I was with matt I wasn't the clumsiest dippiest person on the planet, he was. He even rattled on talking more than I did which I liked. I sat on my bed one day missing Craig going through my scrap book of our travels together and cringey silly pictures we'd taken as a piss take. Nobody can really see this scrap book, it's full of private jokes nobody would get but us and if anybody else WAS to see it they would see how weird I truly was and probably not want to know me again but matt ran off with it one time and I had no choice, well I did but he insisted I let him look through it. Apparently he was weird too so it was ok. well I couldn't disagree with that. Gemma joked that if I was letting matt go through that when nobody else could then it was a big deal so we were like proper BFFS now... 

the good thing about the hostel was free tomatoes and potatoes, the good thing about shopping with matt was that we managed to budget weekly shopping to $20 each and that meant a full lamb or chicken dinner with all the vegetables. As a snack we would often make chips too and use the oil from the free section. A lot of hostels have a compartment of food that the backpackers have left behind so anyone is able to take what they want, this usually included spices, salt, pepper, oil or cerieal, so eating on a budget was easily done and chips with salt and chili powder was actually tasty!  I usually cooked and matt did the dishes (when he remembered) and he  really appreciated the meal too. He was so chuft one time he ran up to me and hugged me in appreciation haha. A decent meal is hard to come by when your backpacking on a budget and matt was just as skint as I was.

From Hamilton island to Bunderberg

July 2014

Credit card: -£350

AU bank account: $150

An 8 hour journey on a coach is not pleasant. You can't even sleep and the stop overs in the garages offer expensive food. I met a girl who had family just up the road from me back home though. Small small world!

When we arrived at airlie beach I'd pre-booked a hostel for everyone else that we paid for on arrival. The hostel offered free transport from the bus stop so everything was pretty breezy. Booked a taxi the following morning to get the ferry to Whitsundays. The ferry cost us $50 each for one way. Ouch!!  Hadn't had a proper meal in a while yet either. 

My first Impression of the whitsundays was just a bit... Meh. It looks amazing on tv, the water is so clear the islands are so beautiful and our journey to Hamilton just looked pretty average, sure the islands were pretty but not paradise. Maybe it was the route we did? The only possible sign of paradise was the clear water at day dream island. That was it. I wish I had more enthusiasm about the place and I wish so so much that I had the money to go scuba diving and see Whitehaven beach so I was able to talk about how beautiful the place is and what a fantastic time I had. 

When we met Chris he gave us a grand tour of the island before dropping me off for my first shift. First proper job woooo!!!

The work was very fast paced and I had to learn how to make a bed. Sounds daft but when you make a bed to a 5 star standard a lot more is involved than you think. Just to give you an idea, the shower glass alone had to be cleaned 3 times with 3 different sprays. The pillow cases had to have the opening in the centre, it was all very detailed and meticulous. Everything had to be perfect. The sofas cushions had to be taken away so every part of that was clean.... I could go on and on...  I got to see how the rich folk live. Everyone who goes to Hamilton island for a vacation has money. The whole place is expensive. They have golf buggies instead of cars to "maintain the image of the island." Ridiculous. 1 general store. Expensive. 1 fish and chips, a pharmacy, a school and a doctors. 1 beautiful beach with a stunning view of islands ahead and harbours full of posh yachts and boats and an airport. Apparently a number of celebrity's choose this island as a place for their vacation.  If I was rich It would be the last place I would go to.

Chris needed me to drive a big van and reverse park it next to the apartment we were viewing. I crashed it into the curb, it was so close to perfect parking, just a weee bit too far back. Fortunately Chris got out of the van and left so he didn't know... Minimum damage done to the van. The guys had left their stuff outside the apartment and 2 estate agents needed a decision there and then. They were asking for $1600 which included a down payment and rent in advance. It also meant we had to have the property for a minimum of 6 months (the jobs also required us to stay for 6 months but none of us were planning on staying that long) apparently every property to rent on the island was like this. I was prepared to do it as long as I had others to chip in and share the cost. The estate agents shift was coming to an end and nobody had arrived yet for me to make a decision with anyone, I called everybody. no answer. I had no idea what to do. I needed this place to secure a job and at this point I needed a job to get out of debt. I was prepared to put the whole thing on my credit card and when it came to breaking the  6 month lease I'd just have to let them keep the down payment and find someone else to rent the apartment and deal with it all as and when It came to it...

Finally everybody arrived 5 mins before the estate agents shift  was ending. Yvonne, anton and matt had joined us. Adam met these in his hostel in cairns and they hitch hiked here to get work also.

I was pretty pissed off at this moment, I felt like a big tonne had been placed on my shoulders and I was just meant to deal with it while everybody had fucked off and we all had to make this big decision in 2 mins. I started to explain what the estate agents had told me and how I was prepared to go ahead when Sam pulled me aside and got me to think about things logically. I was panicking. Sam was right when she said something didn't feel right when we got this job, I thought she was just being negative but Sams just a realist. She asked me how I'm going to deal with finding someone else to take over the lease, what the point in putting myself in to debt was for if I was going to be here for less than 6 months...that I had to consider what I was going to do with Craig and how If I stayed the 6 months it would mean working during his stay here. Al l the necessary questions, then matt cut in (who I'd never met before) and wanted to know what was going on and I just barked back at him and said he can't just cut half way through a discussion asking questions (we had 1 min to make a decision I had no time to explain to matt) which he responded "oh il just fuck off then" 

Finally I decided to give up on the whole idea. (Actually so grateful to Sam that she talked some sense into me)

I apologized to Matt for being a total dick and he was cool.

We made our way back to the ferry and Matt got a phone call regarding work on the island with accommodation, enough for 2 people. Everyone agreed that I should stay with Matt since I'd already started work. I'd never met Matt before, he was from New Orleans, wearing a jacket he'd cut the sleeves off of when the guy, Patrick met him at the ferry terminal for the work. Face palm moment. He still got the job, power washing the boats or something. 

We arrived at the place Patrick was letting us have temporarily, told us he was trusting us and not to fuck him over because he was doing us a big Favor, told us to keep it clean etc.

Matt took the room and I took the sofa in the living room. Apartment was nice enough, small but practical. I took a selfie for Craig of me and Matt so he didn't think I was staying with an axe swinging maniac.

The days with Matt were great, he taught me how to budget and we cooked and shared cost on food. Every morning he would be as quiet as possible when he went out for work and closed the curtains so the morning sun didn't disturb me (so sweet) I thought it would be awkward with Matt but we shared story's of what our home was like and the culture etc. And it was just really nice to have our own place. We discussed what we would do after we lost this place, Patrick said we could only have this place for around 1 more week. The closest biggish city was Townsville (2 hours north) which Matt had stopped at on the way hitchhiking. So we thought about going there.

By the end of the week Tracy, my supervisor said I wasn't really keeping up and if I wanted to keep the job I'd have to quicken my pace. Well it made me feel totally shit. The following morning Matt went to work and I decided to use the islands computers to finish off my RSA (a course which is a legal requirement if you want to work in a bar or waitressing) i called Sam and she told me they were all heading to Bunderberg  for farm work they spotted on gumtree (about 14

Hours south) I didn't know anything more than that but I had to go where they were going because I had no where to live after the week was over. The last ferry was due to leave in 2 hours. I ran 20 mins back to the apartment, packed, cleaned as much as I could and left a message for Matt along with all the change I had as I hadn't fully given Matt the money for rent.. I told him

To come Bundaburg and I tried a dozen times to phone him with no answer. 

I just managed to get the ferry and walked around 20 mins with 1 heavy rucksack from a

the terminal to Airlie beach, a really nice man gave me a hand with my other rucksack and we slagged Hamilton island off all the way. Brilliant guy. 

Sam said to meet her in nomads hostel. Dilemma. There were 2 nomads. I left my bag at the desk. My phone was dead and I rushed to use the computers across the road as I knew the coach for Bunderberg was leaving soon. I waited for Sam to respond... Nothing...

5 mins later Sam tells me where to meet her and they are all getting into a taxi to the bus stop. Adam quickly takes me to a place I can purchase the coach tickets and then we are away.

we waited more than 2 hours for the coach to arrive (it had broke down). That was 2 hours of waiting feeling bad on Matt and feeling so incredibly hungry with no shops around to get food. I sat next to

A guy from Taiwan and he told me all about his culture and we spoke about the difficulty of learning languages. I think I literally just sat to him and said "hey..." And it went from there. He's a backpacker, I'm a backpacker. We're all one of the same. Although wouldn't it be nice to go home and sit next to the craziest looking person (who probably isn't crazy and has some amazing story) and be like he's a human being I'm a human being. We're all one of the same and just be like "hey..." ?

I remember seeing a guy in Melbourne train station, similar age as I am sitting on the opposite side of the bench to me. We were the only ones at that stop and we were both just waiting... I wanted to say hi, he could have been a backpacker too and even if he wasn't, I should just been able to say hi to total strangers because (besides the fact that I needed reassurance that I was at the right stop) at home we meet new people through other friends or in a pub when We're drunk but wouldn't it just be nice to have met someone because you said "hi..." ? 

I didn't say "hi" in the end. I don't think it's the social etiquette in a big city. So I left the stranger at the station a stranger.

It was the longest journey by coach yet but I think I managed to get a little bit of sleep. When we arrived it was early hours of the morning and a van of people came to pick us up. Someone got out and ushered us over. We approached the van and then a mini bus came and parked beside it. The van left. Strange. The guy in the mini bus said he works at 'bundy backpackers' the hostel we would be staying at. 

Cairns. Finding work.

Credit card: -£250

AU Bank balance: $400

UK bank balance: £400

(Thanks to Craig loaning me money to be able to pay minimum off on credit card monthly)

now flying over cairns really was amazing, from

City life to seeing lush green hills. Loved it. The flight was a lot longer than I thought. Apparently Australia is big!? I guess the equivalent distance from Melbourne in the south to Cairns in the north would be from the UK to Greece? Something like that (actually just checked this and I was spot on, what an amazing guesstimate!)

When I landed I stood waiting for my bag where a bunch of other people were, before realising there was also a load of other people at another place for luggage collection. Had no idea which one my bag would be coming from and looked for signs... Decided in the end to stand between the 2 which didn't work and so just took my ticket out and looked for something, anything that I could match to a sign somewhere.  When I looked up I saw my bag and ran to get it. Easy. Yeah I know exactly what I'm doing I have this traveling thing all figured out...

Next, transport to a hostel I'd booked to meet Nicki and ash. 

I went to a desk that looked like they could help me and they sorted out transport for me. 10 mins later a mini bus came. 

Ok il probably leave out these boring, how did I get a taxi details now but for anybody reading who has a fear of traveling solo I just wanted to impress upon you how easy it all is even when your as retarded as I am.

the hostel had a pool and a night club. Cairns itself seemed to have a lot of bars and they sold a lot of gluten free stuff. Amazing! Imagine not eating a pie for a while and finally getting one...

I don't know what happened to meeting up with Nicki and ash but I got in touch with Sam:

"Hey I'm in gilligans (hostel)"

" oh were in another one just cross the right turn right then second left and well be on the right"

"Yeah ok Sam I'll give it a go but I'm not promising I'm gonna find you.."

I am shocking for taking directions

she had to find me in the end and i spent the majority of the time in their hostel. 

Gilligans was fine but everyone knew each other in my room and were all about to leave. It was nothing like habitat HQ (Melbourne hostel) the kitchen was a bit desolate and it wasn't cozy and friendly. There was no stage for people to perform on, except to do pole dancing competitions in the bar at night. Totally different atmosphere and not my kinda place (although nicki and ash did sign me up to this competition but I totally chickened out. I might have won a dance competition in Thailand but I certainly wasn't going to win on the pole haha!)

that day I met Adam, Sams twin brother. He had already done his first year as well as his farm work and had travelled a bit of Australia too. 

We all sat together and discussed mission: get farm work. I was up for any work as long as it involved earning money, getting my second year would be a bonus (if you want to extend your working holiday visa and have another year in the country to use before your 30 you have to do 3 months farm work).  it was really good to be with the girls again. We had a catch up of what they have all been up to. Apparently a really good time spent in the bars so it was standard that we went out that night. 

apparently they had been out every night since they arrived in Cairns. its definitely the place to get smashed. Of course if your there long enough the novelty goes and the girls had searched long enough for farm work with no luck

I met up with nicki and ash in the end and we all went to port Douglas via a car we rented. It was amazing to drive again and we stopped over at palm cove, a gorgeous beach. We spotted some Kangaroos along the side of the road and the landscape views along the way were idyllic. 

Port Douglas was a small expensive area with another gorgeous beach. I wish I could have explored the area a bit more as it was too much of a brief visit but it was a nice day spent with everybody and we got to meet some of Adams friends who were coming towards the end of their 2 years in Australia, so o more story's were shared.

I have a huge list of notes on my phone of places I have to visit that aren't necessarily the typical touristy stopping points. Who needs lonely planet or travel books when you have backpackers?

By this point me and Craig had been apart for almost 3 months and it was starting to take it's toll. Id been so stressed and caught up with finding work and meeting new people that I forgot to keep in touch with the guy who has been my biggest support. iMessage conversations were beginning to look like

"Hey"

"Hey"

"How you doing"

*2 hours later...*

"Good yeah you? ..... Hello?"

*following day...*

"Sorry I was caught up with something"

And that sort of dragged on for a few weeks and it's pretty shitty when It gets like that.

It was good that Craig gave me the nudge I needed to keep on track with him, felt awful I needed that nudge though. Life seems to go at a million miles per hour when your working in a panic and trying to have fun at the same time.

 It's crazy when your traveling, almost everyone is single and has this opinion that relationships and traveling really don't mix. well, distance and relationships generally don't mix but If i can stick out 2 tours, I can stick this out no problem and so can many other couples. People with these negative comments just Speak from bad experiences, I'd rather they just didn't say a word though because it's not what I want to hear and it's not encouraging. 

Me and Gemma were up bright and early the following day to make the most of the car rental and drive to farms to seek work. No luck.

The following day we settled to look for work, any work. Adam knew some guy who worked for a cleaning company on Hamilton island in the Whitsunday's and told us how brilliant his experience was. I got in touch with Chris who managed that cleaning company and was told to email my resume along with a cover letter. Brilliant news! so we all emailed chris and I chased it up with a phone call the following day, they were actually just looking through my resume there and then! Gemma also called and the following day I had a job offer. I was so excited! Next dilemma: where do I live on the island? Unfortunately no accommodation was  available to rent but chris found a possible apartment and to make it affordable offered us all work on the island! Woooo!!! $$$$$ 

We spent our last day chilling at the pool by the beach. It was so relaxing. We just chilled in the sun and enjoyed our last day of holiday freedom. 

We booked a coach the following day and missed it. So we re-booked it and made our journey to Airlie beach  (where you get the ferry to the Whitsunday's and Hamilton Island) which is about 8 hours south of cairns.

Absolutely exhausted here! Id just arrived and Flight was 6am!

Trying to assure Craig I was still thinking of him .... Haha

From Melbourne to Cairns... Charity fundraising to....?????

August 2014

Andrea offered to pay for my flight and I chose Melbourne because a) i knew 2

Girls from the Thailand tour who were there and b) because I met some guy on the plane from Brisbane to Gladstone who said he could get me work in Melbourne and I could be paid much more than au pairing, that however didn't work out, I didn't even meet up with the guy, neither did I meet up with the girls (until later on in another city) 

Budget to find work: $800

When Andrea booked my flight I was due to leave the next day so as well as packing I had a lot of job seeking to do. First things first: gumtree. Probably one of the most useful and widely used web sights in Australia. Similar to what the Americans use, Craig's list. I applied to be a charity fundraiser to about several different organizations and a small amount of sales positions  as I thought these kind of jobs were the easiest to get and once I'd got through about 2-3 weeks I'd at least have money to find work in hospitality if I didn't like it. I'll be honest I was shitting myself. No security, barely any money but a credit card with a maximum spend of £2.2k on it and interest free till February 2015. I reassured myself with the fact that, I wanted to leave anyway and this wasn't all just crazy coincidence, it was all meant to happen and I wasn't meant to

Work as an au pair for 6 months and I got exactly what I wanted so I can get exactly what I want again.

so my mantra for the next 24 hours was, ''I will find a job, I will find a job, I will find a job.''  As well as '' I will be a charity fundraiser'' because actually, I was excited about this, it looked like a job I could be good at and it was for a good cause too, bonus! 

on boarding my flight I received my first call regarding door to door sales position and I managed to get an interview! Easy!   

When I arrived at the hostel, everything was paid for on my credit card as there was no chance I was Going to use the little cash I had (however it didn't stop from trying some of the food in a local restaurant , which was out of this world amazing, the Aussies sure know how to cook!) the hostel seemed nice, cozy, with a fire (very much needed as it was about 5'c) and a stage in the common room. It was perfect. Actually the best hostel I've ever been to looking back. Of course it was 'school canteen' scenario again so I didn't quite know what to do with myself and everybody seemed to be speaking every language but english so I went to hide myself in my room where someone offered me a malteser, and that someone was British. The 2 girls in my room were from London, Sam and Gemma. absolute god sends I'm so greatful I met these two, they have been part of the little Aussie family we all seemed to have gathered ever since. When I arrived they had also not long arrived and were also looking for work - but not in Melbourne. 

I went on to get work as a charity fundraiser and they booked a flight to cairns, up north in the tropics where it was hot.

Melbourne Is a beautiful city, I don't really like city's much, I prefer rural areas but Melbournes buildings were pretty unique. Australia is also only around 200 years old (I could be totally wrong here) so the architecture is all pretty modern, something to feel greatful for back home is our history. Made me appreciate our closest small city Chester for it's Old Tudor buildings and roman relics. I went through a Jewish area on tram and a woman Infront was speaking Hebrew, made me smile. It was probably the longest I'd ever spent in a city so this cultural difference was a big change for me and I liked it. it's what travelings all about, experiencing things you never have before. Music is pretty big over there too apparently but the buskers had nothing on Ed the violin player in Chester. That man is epic. I guess the music didn't really stand out to me. 

One thing I started to learn how to do is read bus, train and tram routes... Just kidding, I relied totally on asking strangers or information guides, who would actually stand at tram stops soley for the purpose of helping dippy people like me find their way around the city. i think that's another thing to consider if your ever traveling solo, people will always help you. 

why the fear of getting lost anyways? Sometimes I would just take a train, tram or bus and let the wind take me... And if it's a big city, they expect tourists so they accommodate for that with information points or people to help you. if it's a smaller city it's easier and you can get to places within walking distances.

There was one point where I had to get from one side of Melbourne to another for a job interview and even after the receptionist at the hostel told me which train bus and tram to get I still didn't have a clue and I think I ended up getting all 3 plus walking 40 mins and asking about 10 people and 3 bus drivers and every single person was nice enough, I never want to Moider people but most people are genuinely happy to help. Atleast the people of Melbourne anyways. I made it with about 10 mins left to spare and used  google maps to find my way for the last few blocks. actually staring at my phone to make sure my tram was going in the right direction at one point.  It was hard sometimes to not panic but i really tried not to, to enjoy every single day becuase even though I had barely any money and no job, I was in Australia, I'd made it this far right? 

By this point id been in Melbourne a week and new roomys replaced old roomys however most of them were coming to the end of their trip in Australia which wasn't a bad thing because I got to hear about all of these incredible things to do along the east coast. a few of us went to see the penguins in St Kilda which id done before with Gemma and Sam. Who knew eh? Penguins in Australia? I also had to repeat the trip we made to 'san churo' (nicest hot chocolate I've ever had in my life, like melted chocolate in a cup) and when it was so cold outside it was just perfect! The girls were great, as they were coming to an end of their trip the topic was quite often family and home and memory's of their trip, they all had an incredible time and it got me all excited. 

There was one french girl who wasn't as social as the rest of us and she made a habit of turning the lights on at stupid o clock in the morning and waking half the room up.

Well - not me, I wouldn't wake if the world was ending but I felt it a great injustice to the rest of the room so I made a sign to stick on the outside door handle which read "for the consideration of everyone else in the room please refrain from turning all lights on at stupid o clock in the morning. Thanks. Beth - on behalf of room..."  The following morning she told me she couldn't see if she didn't turn the lights on (fuck, even the Victorians figured out how to see in the dark but fortunately instead of candles there is now this amazing invention called a torch!) For whatever reason she didn't want to use one and she changed rooms too. I felt bad.

Well the girls left, one of them

Hanne I hope to see when I one day go to Sweden (which is not to be confused with Switzerland - my geography is improving!) she plays piano too, Also by ear and also listens to Ludovico Einaudi (modern classical pianist) Knows a bit of Spanish and likes scuba diving. it was too much of a brief time spent with her! 

I had a fair few job offers to be a charity fund raiser, and sacked off the interview for door to door sales. in fact one woman was so confident with me and didn't want me to join any other company she was prepared to offer me a promotion after 2 weeks training. I should have gone for that company, but I didn't. If your good at charity fundraising you can get sponsorship by the company and live in Australia for as long as you are working for that company. It's actually really good if your good at it. I'll try and be as brief as possible to explain what charity fundraising entails...

Ok so you are this really positive, motivated, happy person who approaches total strangers on the street and convinces them to pay a minimum of say $60 a month for cancer council. Simple right?

No. You have to stand at 45 degree angle when talking to someone, so a) your speaking directly into their ear and b) your body language is open so they don't feel trapped, they can walk on any time

With my particular company I also had to memorize a script which involved a lot of head nodding and saying "yeah?" After everything, somehow tried and tested as psychologically effective in more sign ups...

Got to tell you though I had such a laugh with my roomys practicing this script, one girl jasmine, wasn't having any of it. "Nope, I'm bored your chilling in the commen room with me" ended up chasing her round the commen room for the scrunched up piece of paper that was my script haha. We were nicknamed "jasbeth" it was a short but epic love affair... 2 gobby midgets in a hostel. Good times. 

I completely fucked the job off after 2 hours in the streets. The whole thing felt un natural and in-genuine and I was standing in the cold thinking about false it all felt,  how hot it is in cairns and Gemma, Sam, nicki and ash were all there. Ok so the pay was really really good if you got the sign ups, the more sign ups the more money and on average you were meant to be earning about £2.5k equivalent - but only if you got the sign ups and pressure was on for that from the company too. I didn't even like Melbourne that much any more, everyone had left, jasmine was the only one left really and even she was going to be leaving in a couple of weeks. So I made the decision to go there and then, I took off my cancer council t shirt and my badge handed it to the girl I was working with and said sorry it wasn't for me and that night I got a flight to cairns.

 all the food I had in the fridge went to waste and I'd payed in advance for 1 more night in the hostel that was non refundable but it was the cheapest flight. I left a message behind the desk for jasmine to add me on Facebook and off I went. All on credit card again Of course...

The highs and lows!

I decided to write a blog because when I used to sit at home and see all these holiday snaps or travel photos other people used to take and put them up on Facebook I used to feel madly envious and think, how can they do that? They must have saved so much money and I can't do that, my mum did it and my dad did it but I can't ...and even then how would I afford to travel continuously? I would find it so much more difficult than these people who are apparently really happy because everything probably came really easy to them. There just lucky and I'm not lucky.

That was a couple of years ago and that's complete and utter bollux, I write this blog to give you my story the photos do not tell, the highs and the really really sad lows. Traveling isn't easy, and your never lucky, nobody is ever just really lucky, they follow their hearts desire and that in itself is what causes good things to happen, even if you do stumble along the way sometimes. So I guess I write also to Inspire others to travel.

June, 2014 - August, 2014

Budget: £4k

Flights: £1.7k
Thailand tour: £800
Thailand spends: £800
Visa: £250 (about that I can't actually remember)

My first flight was so scary but incredibly exciting and exhilarating! I was finally doing something I'd always always wanted to do, on my own, dippy, walk in to a road full of busy traffic me. I just had to focus on not doing anything completely mindless, and you know when you get chucked in at the deep end, an amazing thing happens. You swim! So there I was, looking for my terminal, my gates, eating on my own, waiting...

When my flight landed in Dubai it was tricky, I couldn't find my gate on the list and I was panicking a bit, I over heard somebody mention my gate number and immediately followed them hoping for the best and just kept asking people if I was going the right way, I don't think it was too long before my next flight to Bangkok but I made it in good time and off I was again. Easy (and that's saying something for me)

Once in Bangkok I had a flight to Ko Tao where i had to get a ferry to another island ko samui where my tour started. I was exhausted and it was late at night when I arrived so I grabbed my bag in the most bizarre airport which was basically a wooden hut.
A couple of people gave me a funny look because the bag was almost as big as I am since I'm a complete midget at 5ft and weighed 22kg (I weigh 55kg just to give you an idea), some British guys also grabbed their bags and I headed in the direction they were going, they said they hadn't booked accommodation either so we booked a taxi at reception and had a crazy half an hour trying to talk the taxi man into dropping us all off at the nicest hostel there was. I got a bit of admiration from the guys for being a solo traveler which made me feel great. talked about our plans on the trip and the full moon party which they were all attending on another island. The taxi man at this point was shouting something in Thai to us neither of us understood and we just kept repeating hostel, any hostel, in which he replied which one, and I was saying 'ANY' which he didn't understand, he needed a name. Damn language barrier. It was completely hilarious at the time and fortunately one of the guys grabbed a flyer for a hotel at the airport and gave it to the driver and we ended up staying there at something like £80 a night which was ridiculous especially for Thailand, I mean it was 4 star so it wasn't bad but I was a backpacker now. Budget time!bThe following day I enjoyed a day at the pool and explored the area, the beach was amazing, the sea was warm but the Thai guys - strange.
I asked at the hotel reception about the ferry to the island I needed to get on and booked it with the woman there, 2 hours later a shuttle bus came and I was taken to the ferry terminal, caught the correct ferry by asking everyone around me which one it was and made it to ko Samui safely where I met my tour guide. 10 days in Thailand, sorted! It was a bit unsettling diving into a crowd who already had a couple of days to acquaint themselves with one another and me, late as usual, the last one there so I had to catch up a bit. My tour was a 6 week tour but I chose to do just the first 10 days of it because I didn't have the budget or the time to do the rest (which I'm gutted about) as I had to start my job as an au pair on a certain date.

The thing about meeting a crowd of people who already know one another and hoping you fit in is,well, for me, I had these instant dreadful memory's of high school coming back. people had already developed there own clicks or had traveled as a pair so I didn't really know where to go? Where to fit in? But I also noticed the odd few who were just like me and seemed to just breeze by. I was put in a room with nicki and florentina. Nicki from Canada and florentina like, 20 mins from where I live. Mental!! Such a small small world. they were both so nice so I was relieved. In fact everybody was nice but i think I was missing out on a lot of gossip.

the tour guides always made sure I was involved and introduced me to
The crowd along with a demand of my most embarrassing sex story (should have said I was a virgin) that night we had a pub crawl and I won a dance off too so I think I did pretty well. The power of alcohol!

It was pretty incredible sharing each other's cultures and traditions, that's the best thing about meeting people from around the world. The best thing about meeting a load of new people in general is well... I'll give you an example. I was eating lunch by the beach one day and just thinking about what I was going to do next or probably worrying about something... And Naomi was just sitting on the balcony quietly, a dog was running across the beach and she was telling me how happy she was and how much she appreciates times like these and it's nice just to take it all in. I admired her so much and envied that she could just do that. Ya know we all have such busy minds and even when I was in paradise I couldn't just switch off and do that. I think Naomi taught me something, without even realizing and I think we all do that, sometimes we meet new people and they give us something, like a gift in a way and then that's it. Another girl Miranda she was just one of those who got along with anybody and everybody, she could be a tour guide if she wanted to she just had so much personality. I think everyone in the group will remember her for that and I really admired her because she had a great heart too. In high school those kinds of girls are usually the bitchy ones. When your traveling it's rare anybody's bitchy, you meet people so briefly and were all in the same situation so it's kind of a given that everybody just gets along. I admired nicki too because we had a bit of a falling out from lack of communication really and I felt bad and was a bit nervous because I didn't want it to be awkward in our room but she'd said all she needed to I guess and figured there was no need for any hard feelings and we were back to normal the next day and I loved her for that. It wasn't in-genuine either I can tell when someone's just putting on a smile and hating me, Na she was brilliant. I can't even remember if I apologized or not but either way she didn't hold a grudge and I appreciated that.  She even Messaged me a bit concerned later on when I was in Australia.

Looking back now and comparing that to traveling Australia, no tour group, just flying solo. I think that when you book a tour and your going to be with the same people for a number of weeks, do consider that it IS going to get clicky, I think generally that just what happens. I don't mean to say that it gets bitchy or anything like that but you know that situation when your in the school canteen and your figuring out where to sit... Yeah well that situation happened a lot however never ever worry that someone is going to give you a dismissive look as soon as you sit next to them. I think as a traveler you might find yourself in this situation a lot anyways but just plonk yourself next to anybody and be like "hey I'm..." And that's it. Nobody thinks your weird. Your a backpacker. your kind of weird anyways, you broke free from a 9-5 job or study's or whatever to see the world and right now you share that in common with whoever you just sat next to. It is unsettling being in that situation but with practice you get over it without even realizing.

If I was to do Asia again, I would just go solo for sure. Even if the country's just hit some negative headlines, just go for it. If I managed to get 4 flights and a ferry in 48 hours I'm sure anybody on the planet can find there way to a hostel. Once your there, you meet people and your sorted. youl be told about all of these incredible things to do and see and were people have already been and it will be so easy...when your traveling, just follow the crowd, you make your own tour group, you become your own tour guide.

So from Thailand I had a flight to Singapore which was a 20 hour stopover so a hotel was needed and a number of taxis awaited outside the airport (and if they wernt I would have just asked somebody where reception was so they could call a taxi for me...)

Fortunately before I came out here I managed to get a job as an au pair (nanny) through a web sight online (you can google au pair and a bunch of sights will come up) thanks to a good family friend of mine Clare who also got a job doing the same thing, and without her I don't think I would have come to Australia at all. I just needed that security as soon as I got here and working as a nanny gave me that, as well as a chance to live with a real ozzy family which was a brilliant experience with all of it's highs but it too had it's low points.

total left to enter Australia on a working holiday visa: £200

Problem with getting into the country on that small amount even though they stipulate you have to be bringing in Atleast £2.5k into the country: None

It's actually rare they will do the  whole bank statement check. So I had a credit card with a limit of £2.2k on it and my dad said he would put some cash in if he had to. So yeah I had a plan b and c!

When I arrived in Brisbane it was freezing! It was 2 or 3am and I had to wait around 4 hours for my next flight to Gladstone. I had picked up my backpack and was walking around the airport looking for somebody, anybody to point me in the right direction. I was looking for somewhere they did domestic flights but the entire airport was empty, nobody at desks, just 3 People on the sofa which slowly came Down to just me and a couple up the stairs. I remember feeling exhausted and just wanting to go home (I'm laughing at myself now) I think it was probably due to exhaustion but then "bubbly" came on the radio and I became a blubbering mess. I just broke down (I'm sure it was another symptom of exhaustion) I just missed my boyfriend at that moment so so much. i drifted in and out of sleep as it was too cold to get any decent shut eye and when I woke up at around 6am I noticed someone standing outside waiting. It was a bus stop I failed to notice. I used the only Australian note I had (a fair well present from my best friend, Lowri. She still managed to look after me on the other side of the world, damn I love that girl) to pay for the bus which would apparently take me to where I needed to get my domestic flight.

Once I arrived I checked the list of flights, mine wasn't on it. Panic. I asked and was immediately told exactly where I needed to be. Phew! And although I'm shit for taking directions I managed to find my way quite easily and sat relieved, knowing that this was my last flight for a good few months at least. Emotional break down over haha.

It was a bit scary to be meeting with a stranger I had only but a Skype interview with and a couple of emails exchanged but I gave Andrea a hug when she met me at the airport (even though hugs aren't my thing) and we made our way to her home where I would be living for 6 months, she let me sleep the jet lag off and I started to learn about what nannying was going to entail. So basically for $250 a week plus food and stay (which is amazing because average is about $150) , I would get Ella ready for school, pack her lunch, make sure she had her medicine at the right Time, light cleaning and laundry for 5 days a week. I enjoyed my time with Ella she was such a lovely child , barely any difficulties at all she was generally super easy. Andrea and Geoff were great too, it was only really the loneliness that bothered me, not being around anybody my own age and people in my tour group in Thailand posting pictures up of them with tigers and elephants was just depressing... I felt like I needed to break free. Andreas house was far from a prison but socially it kind of felt like that Becuase I was also missing Craig so much and nothing I was doing was much of a distraction. I was greatful when the family decided to drive closer to Brisbane to see Andreas son. We hit some pretty incredible landscapes and views and I got chance to go to Australia zoo and feed some kangaroos which was incredible.

I started to become more and more unhappy as time was going on when we got back and I was so close to telling Andrea i wanted to leave, which I felt awful about about because she would have to go through the trouble of finding another au pair. Crazy enough Andrea lost her job just a day or 2 before I was about to spill the beans and subsequently had to let me go as she was no longer going to be able to afford me. she felt so bad she even paid for my flight to Melbourne